do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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