he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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