I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
