Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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