I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
