Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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