dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
