Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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