I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
