the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
