I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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