What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
