she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
smell my finger.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
