As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
