I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
