Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
