I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize