i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
