You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
