Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
