My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
