I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
