Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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