did you get engaged???
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
