quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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