1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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