Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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