His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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