bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
