TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She announced her abortion via fbk
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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