Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
