I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
