We named our party play list daddy issues
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
