the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
