i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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