help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
