I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize