Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
