just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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