that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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