he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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