Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
