We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
