Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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