Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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