The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
