Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
