I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think your dad took our porno
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
