Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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