I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
