she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You were trust falling into bushes
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
