wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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