All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Mom said you looked used
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
