Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
