i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize