I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
