was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
