i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
