it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
