i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
