Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
