Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
