Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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