just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
