it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
