My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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