hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
