It's Friday. Sex?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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