ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
