We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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