he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
